I titled this “For the Ladies and the Gents” because it’s coming from a woman’s perspective, but men can read it too. Actually, it may even help ya get in our heads a little. No promises to actually understanding us women through this simple post, but this may provide about 0.5% out of 100% of some vital perspective into our spaghetti bowl of thoughts/feelings/emotions. Good luck and many blessings to you, guys. When we as women can’t explain it sometimes, there’s only heavenly hope that you can. Haha!
Our bodies. Our female bodies. This is an interesting thing to take a look at: Not literally, but introspectively. Let’s delete {real quick} what just popped into your mind as you read “female bodies”, shall we? Yes! And thank you.
There’ll be a few “point of views” that I spell out. I am sure I’m missing a few pieces here and there within these points, but here’s the unedited and raw version from my heart as I see it. I know there’s deeper caverns, but I am not going to stress WordPress out with those right now.
First, I am going to write to you from a {happily} married women’s point of view. I’m not going to get all tangled up in the “stuff” that could possibly come from this gorgeous view. I just have something specific on my heart I want to share from being me and seeing this picture.
Back to the “body” thing. Ok, ok. Yes. Once you’re married–one’s body doesn’t decide whether you’re going to schedule ‘date #2″, right? Well, true. You’re going to see many changes in your body once you’re married. For example: The ‘gym’-7-days-a-week stage when you’re ripped, the ‘eh’ stage when you’re mediocre or the ‘fluffy’ stage. OR, MY FAVE: All the stages in between these 3. {Where most of us are in.}
Wherever you’re at, if your husband is truly a loving one: He loves you. That means all of you or the you that you saw peacing-out on the scale. Every ounce of cellulite that you see peeping and taunting never makes eye contact with your love. He sees your core and your bright ideas and your beautiful heart and your efficient mind and feels your love to him. {and, if you have kids–to them.} Although none of it is perfect. It’s committed though. And to a man, the respect within that commitment means more than gold. He’s not making a tally sheet of every piece of cellulite or flab or “bye-bye” arm he sees. Yes, he may note the change over time. He may even notate the difference from your previous body to this one. {In any direction it may be going.}
Doesn’t matter. What matters most to him regarding your overall being (hopefully, probably, MOST LIKELY}: Are you in a good, healthy spot in life and how are you emotionally? Mentally? Whether a little skinny or a little fluffy–or anywhere in between. We’ve all been both. How are you?
Our self-consciousness comes from our point of views. Think of it! YOU may notice that one dip in your skin from cellulite, but he doesn’t. He is not thinking of that. YOU are thinking of this and that change: so naturally you bring that into your time together.
Analogy *alert* below:
Bringing that in or feeling this way {I have been guilty} is like pulling up a chair for the awkward third wheel on a date–ordering it dinner and even dancing with it. Don’t!! So weird in real life, right? Pull that chair out from that sucker and keep moving forward. *strong arm emoji* Even better, if you can, point the third-wheeler out and name it: {fat, flabby, jiggly, wide, gaunt, bony, pale, thin, sickly, ETC}. Then, get rid of it because you know which one it is and tell it to leave. Name your awkward third-wheelers and kick them right on out. Those aren’t ‘you’.
Second, from a {hopefully, married} man. I’m not one. Obviously. But, if I were–I’d speak as though from my husband’s point of view. He’s the one I’ve known most intimately and it would only make sense. So, here goes nothin’:
“I love you for you. Not for your butt or your eyes or your hair. Yes, those things (and all in between) matter because I love them and their distinct attributes, but that’s it. Not because of the change or consistency they bring. I just don’t care about that piece of cellulite you see. I see and feel the woman I love and I’ll love her with all her physical ebbs and flows.”
See, ladies? {again, hopefully, married}. You see it and it’s there like the third wheel, but not for him! Let it gooooooo…
You make it something because you see it as something. 99.9% of the time, he doesn’t see it that way.
Third perspective, while we’re on the subject of our bodies, ladies. You think everyone in the world is seeing what you do while you’re nude in the bathroom mirror. But, in reality–nah. Not really.
I’ve had people say to me all the things about their weight, all the time. Whether from the lighter numbers or the heavier numbers on the scale. I look. I analyze. Sometimes I can see what they’re saying. But, I’d said about 80% of the time I just cannot. They look perfect the way they are. I am so very much in this boat myself. On a very vulnerable note! Just to keep things real: I find myself in those merciless waves of perfection sometimes. Thank GOD that Jesus was the only perfect human to ever walk this Earth!! Only because He was also God. God and Man (human): The only perfect combination to physically touch our planet in a flesh and blood kind of way.
This is not a duck and roll move to avoid getting healthy. Health: Emotional, physical, mental, etc. is a good thing. It’ll pack some punch. Health, in whatever form, will hit hard where it needs to. All our lives are so different and unique! I truly believe that God uses each and every piece in what season it is in for it’s pure purpose.
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And we’re baaaack from the rabbit trail: You know you. First and foremost–are you healthy? Physically and emotionally? They are both equally important.
Regarding this particular subject: Ladies, are you healthy? For the Gents: Are you helping your lady in her road to all things health? Words of affirmation or something like meal planning or letting her have time to work out? Help her where you can. She does need your willingness and your selflessness: and most importantly, because you love her, your heart in letting her be the best she can be.
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